times has changed, methamorphosis is taking place. without prior notice, much have passed, loads have cherished, many lessons were learnt, many changes has taken place. From the beginning, there was i, a tuition teacher, then a scholarship wannabe. appleboy to finally reverting back to my old self-the true me.
Recalling this year, time really flew. recalling the good and bad made me realised how far i have travelled. life is after all a journey, one that have ups and downs, just like a ferris wheel ride. At times, i wish i could reach the peak, the highest point, but when i reached that pivotal point, i realise that i have to start the journey all over again. Just like a ferris wheel ride, the wheel rotates , from the lowest point to the highest point and this process continues until the time your ride is finished-the time you leave the ride to embark a new journey.
Life at Kmph is a learning process, a journey, an odyssey, a flight that really strenghtens me and morphes me to learn more about myself and creating myself. Quoted from a dear friend of mine, "Life is not about finding yourself, but its a process of creating yourself." through these 7 months so far, much have veen learnt and experienced visually, emotionally, physicaaly and spiritually. i see growth, metamorphosis, radical changes. I think i now know the person i want to be, the somebody i can picture myself to be.
At Kmph, i learnt to 'make things work'. complaining is a form of releasing dissatisfaction and stress but continuous of complaints is a sign of weakness, an irritation to ones ears. I have complained much, from my dissatisfaction to my maths teaches to the 'lack of interest or senstivity' to maths which ultimately leads to the lacklustre performace of mine in maths. Yet, it was a fellow Ipoh based teacher-pn Shariza who slapped me on my face and made me realized that giving excuses and complaining is just an excuse of being a spoiled brat and laziness, All i have to do is to make it WORK!!!!
There was a so called Appleboy mania at kmph where i was labelled as this apple eating boy at lecture guy. that was a period of fun, joy, of excitement. Those were some of my golden days where i felt i received illumination, enlightment, blessing. I felt like a phoenix reborn from ashes. i was new in a new environment, totally fresh in an exotic place, ready to explore all boudaries, every corner, ready to create a new me, met new people, ready to embark a journey, That was a point in life where i was filled with confidence where my jar of confidence is sligtly over-filled resulting in a change of persona within me, which i slightly noticed. I was starting to change to something that i would not like, unnoticed, unintentionally. I was turning Ugly. Yet, at the right point, i reverted, God's blessings made me change. Here i am now.
Blessed. Blessed to meet these new friends whom accepted me, whom i accept and care for. i respect them for their individuality and qualities which i learnt a lot from. And then was when i quetioned Him for sending them away , one by one from me. Yet, i received new blessings , new friendships were created, existed bonds were strengthed.
i met great roommates, good friends, future leaders, yet, at this point, i feel people around me have been changing, in a manner that makes me realise and rethink who they really are, their true colors. At some times, what i see is not what i like. It is an eyesore, yet i still care deeply and sincrely for them. i am confused by the persona i am facing. Do people change? or does it take time before one reveals his true colors. As far as i am concerned, these changes can be seen as thorns to others. Yet, this is a time i stay firm with my integrity, my principles. all i want and have to do now is to save me from myself. these thoughts can and must no longer change or effect me emotionally. i need to stay strong. true friends do not tolerate,they accept.
As various memories refreshes through my mind, i feel more grown up. but i know i have much more to learn, much more to explore and see. I like being myself-crazy, a lunatic, an ambassador, talkative, always smilling. i realise i talk as a person, a true human-vulnerable and all bariers broken down., and i like it.
this year, i feel even more connected to my family that i have ever felt in a long time. I thank you, Lord. for a blessed year.
UPS is next year, 3days ahead, and next year , 2010, a better, blessed year is 20 minutes ahead, awaiting for me as i embark on a different flight. As a passenger, now , i await my destionation. Time is not the main factor, it is the journey and the destination that truly matters.
