a metamorphing journey.

times has changed, methamorphosis is taking place. without prior notice, much have passed, loads have cherished, many lessons were learnt, many changes has taken place. From the beginning, there was i, a tuition teacher, then a scholarship wannabe. appleboy to finally reverting back to my old self-the true me.

Recalling this year, time really flew. recalling the good and bad made me realised how far i have travelled. life is after all a journey, one that have ups and downs, just like a ferris wheel ride. At times, i wish i could reach the peak, the highest point, but when i reached that pivotal point, i realise that i have to start the journey all over again. Just like a ferris wheel ride, the wheel rotates , from the lowest point to the highest point and this process continues until the time your ride is finished-the time you leave the ride to embark a new journey.

Life at Kmph is a learning process, a journey, an odyssey, a flight that really strenghtens me and morphes me to learn more about myself and creating myself. Quoted from a dear friend of mine, "Life is not about finding yourself, but its a process of creating yourself." through these 7 months so far, much have veen learnt and experienced visually, emotionally, physicaaly and spiritually. i see growth, metamorphosis, radical changes. I think i now know the person i want to be, the somebody i can picture myself to be.

At Kmph, i learnt to 'make things work'. complaining is a form of releasing dissatisfaction and stress but continuous of complaints is a sign of weakness, an irritation to ones ears. I have complained much, from my dissatisfaction to my maths teaches to the 'lack of interest or senstivity' to maths which ultimately leads to the lacklustre performace of mine in maths. Yet, it was a fellow Ipoh based teacher-pn Shariza who slapped me on my face and made me realized that giving excuses and complaining is just an excuse of being a spoiled brat and laziness, All i have to do is to make it WORK!!!!

There was a so called Appleboy mania at kmph where i was labelled as this apple eating boy at lecture guy. that was a period of fun, joy, of excitement. Those were some of my golden days where i felt i received illumination, enlightment, blessing. I felt like a phoenix reborn from ashes. i was new in a new environment, totally fresh in an exotic place, ready to explore all boudaries, every corner, ready to create a new me, met new people, ready to embark a journey, That was a point in life where i was filled with confidence where my jar of confidence is sligtly over-filled resulting in a change of persona within me, which i slightly noticed. I was starting to change to something that i would not like, unnoticed, unintentionally. I was turning Ugly. Yet, at the right point, i reverted, God's blessings made me change. Here i am now.

Blessed. Blessed to meet these new friends whom accepted me, whom i accept and care for. i respect them for their individuality and qualities which i learnt a lot from. And then was when i quetioned Him for sending them away , one by one from me. Yet, i received new blessings , new friendships were created, existed bonds were strengthed.

i met great roommates, good friends, future leaders, yet, at this point, i feel people around me have been changing, in a manner that makes me realise and rethink who they really are, their true colors. At some times, what i see is not what i like. It is an eyesore, yet i still care deeply and sincrely for them. i am confused by the persona i am facing. Do people change? or does it take time before one reveals his true colors. As far as i am concerned, these changes can be seen as thorns to others. Yet, this is a time i stay firm with my integrity, my principles. all i want and have to do now is to save me from myself. these thoughts can and must no longer change or effect me emotionally. i need to stay strong. true friends do not tolerate,they accept.

As various memories refreshes through my mind, i feel more grown up. but i know i have much more to learn, much more to explore and see. I like being myself-crazy, a lunatic, an ambassador, talkative, always smilling. i realise i talk as a person, a true human-vulnerable and all bariers broken down., and i like it.

this year, i feel even more connected to my family that i have ever felt in a long time. I thank you, Lord. for a blessed year.


UPS is next year, 3days ahead, and next year , 2010, a better, blessed year is 20 minutes ahead, awaiting for me as i embark on a different flight. As a passenger, now , i await my destionation. Time is not the main factor, it is the journey and the destination that truly matters.

Mastering my Body

class photo..

back to Ipoh for Haji hols. loads had happened in Kmph...No more dinamika kemahiran and Moral class and guess what?? We hav coco and sains informatics this sem!!!! yahoo!!! btw, did i clarrify i gt silat!!! Silat, the Malay version of self defence, requires agilty, swift, skill, discipline, all qualities which i severly lack!!! regardless of all adversities, i guess i have to use this chance to experience another persona and discover a new me..haha..

apparently, coordinating these long limbs and arms of mine has been a great adversity. And i even 'saw the stars' on my first silat practice, i guess i have to really toughen up!!!

and Biro Pameran is going to officially start operating soon.. and guess what? watching "beyond the realms of conscience" or in short " Gong sam gai' has some sort really inspired me to create this grand, majestic exhibition that showcasses the beauty of the Chinese culture. Its all in my mind now, and hopefully, with the help of the rest of the biro, we can make this dream a reality!..

Apparently, "gong sam gai" is bringing out the crazy side of me, believe me, i am possessed by the characters from this epic TVB classic, bringing ancient China back to Kmph. haha...hope this eventually wears off!!!

going back to watch New Moon!!! excited!! and Happy Bday! SHobana...

Speed clubbing or poo poo tree??

this hols was truly a roller coaster ride for me. went out a couple of times with my friends and also an eye opener Penang trip.even learnt taichi and visited Little india!!!For the Penang trip, there was Fann, Yennee, Yash, Young , MIn Huey and me..and it was unexpectedly fun! Though i did not eat much as i would like to, i had a great deal of fun with these guys.

I went skating(QUeensbay) for the first time, speed clubbing and posing with the 'poo poo tree'...that was really crazy..haha..

CLubbing is something people usually ever in a million years associate it with me. Well, to tell you the truth, i never believed that i would ever go into a club! But OMG..i did it!!! well, to give more detailed info, this club is at Auto city, Butterworth and its called ' Dream'!! there were these staircases up to this high profile club. I was nervous, afraid, yet i had to hide all my fears and wear a mask of calmness. This was a time to experience a life i never though i would even come close to.

We hesitated before going in. we were unsure. well at least i was a 'virgin' in this case. We did not even know if we needed to pay to enter...but as i went in. i felt like transformed into another planet. It was like totally different. It was dark and the deco was inspired by modern meets ancient China . I heard loud music, there was a band . There were lounges, ppl were hanging out. and to my surprise, i saw a middle aged lady wearing skimpy outfits dancing to the beat of the music like theres no tomorrow and i had only one word in my mind- Gross.

i felt uneasy , uncomfortable and i looked at Yashini. And from those big wide opened eyes of hers, i knew we were on the same page. We hadenough of this 'experience' this clubbing life. We were like raising out voices (the music was too loud) " i don't really like this place!!! " "Lets leave" and in a couple of seconds, we left the so called "dream-land"

well, this is what me and Yashini calls 'speed clubbing' ..we experienced it visually at least...and maybe its just not my cup of tea!!! i rather pose with the 'poo poo tree' (see my Facebook photos-crazy i tell you)!!!! that was more fun and at least in my comfort zone!!! haha..

thanks yash, fann, min huey, Queen K and Young, really enjoyed this trip...learnt more about my friends and this lesson will never end!

Life changes, quoted from Madonna's hit single 'Hung up' ,'time goes by..so slowly...so slowly'...distancing from Ipoh for my pre U studies opened my eyes that so much has remained, yet so many changes. So different, so vague. In this case, time and distance played a key role in these changes.

i see personalities evolving, friends feeling more comfortable under their skins, level of conversations brought to a new level, people maturing before my own eyes wheres others escaping into think air, distancing themselves from our lives, like smoke.

The portrait of our life has changed. Some used to smile so cheerfully, radiating light into our life, now yet fading into the darkness. Some remain there, playing significance.

the road not taken keeps blurring my thoughts, what if i took the other path? what if?...choices are made, paths has been taken. There is no turning back, only looking into the future could propel you forward.

i know why i was the only one chosen for this path. For God knows that i could handle it.
All i can do is to be thankful for be blessed.

Concrete jungle awaits me!

MUETS just over...and i am glad..well i have no idea how i scored but i had fun with my group..like we interacted...we helped each other..it was PURE discussion...eye contact was there...GREAT

i was candidate C and we had to discuss on how food manufacturers could increase the sales of locally food. My point was through promoting our food overseas.(via campaigns, Internet, food fair, ambassadors...)

haha..thanks 4 d wishes...thanks ZEE!!! ELIN!!!! and also Pn Norsiah, Miss Cheong for the wonderful tips...

unfortunately Candidate A kinda broke down ...she was too nervous..we all tried to help her but i hope that i wasn't misintepreted as overdominating bythe examiner..oh well...

byebye Sem 1..coz i am leaving the JUNGLE 2day!!!! heading to another jungle only that its made of concrete(KL)..haha...

Jungle meltdown

exam was officially over yesterday and since i have my speaking test on 21 Oct(7.30 am) i have to camp in the jungle(thats what Yash calls KMPh ...the jungle).

These exam period could be said as a turning point of my life-it made me stronger, tougher, more mature. Its very well said that it takes a total emotional breakdown to see the beauty in someone and i totally experienced it. Breaking down was something i never thought i could ever experience in a Giga-zillion years...but...who knew that a few sums could lead to a basket full of 'won tons'. I felt vulnerable, open to attack, i felt i had nobody i could trust , i wanted to talk to sumbody. It was 3 am in the morning-but i had my family standing by me.

Now, i feel great, its like a baggage, a burden, an evil spell being cast out off me. Believing in yourself makes you strong, knowing others believe in you makes you feel secure, beautiful, safe. Now, i take life as a journey that i can learn and enjoy at the same time-enriching myself.

My personal message to Maths & Chem & Physics:

I may not personally like the 3 of you but YO!!!! i am stronger and i can overcome you guys...so bring it on...coz i m gonna fight back in full throttle. Chem, i am gonna be like a buffer solution, add strong acid, add super strong base, I am gona remain the same! Maths, you can differentiate or intergrate as much as possible but yo....i'm gonna persevere as you cant change my perseverance. Yo Physics,..i love you ...so let it be conservation of angular momentum or isothermal, i am gonna overcome it all...as i have to believe..haha..

yo,,4 PSPM, i did my all..like i gave all i could and no matter what the end point(point where indicator changes color) its OK...haha...Nasib le!!!

gonna go to Kl on the 21st and reunite with my parents...
anyway, Happy Birthday to the empress!!! (Yen nee) and thanks Fan and Young for yesterday.

Ohya!!!!!! b4 signing off..Speaking test tomorrow...calm down,, speak slowly, intelligently, wisely and confidently and speak with your eyes !!!! haha....

Don't complain...itu NASIB!!!

its been a very long time like ages since i last blogged. Part of the reason is that i was like as busy as hell and partially because of the sloth inside me kinda took over. Well, all i must say is that life at KMPh was super-hell crazy. Like what i told Young, i have to find equilibrium-hectic studies+ crazy timetable, PRD responsibilities, Biro Pameran for CNY thingy, and my entertainment.

Lets talk about studies, imagine yourself attending classes daily from 8-around 5...and thats not all, you have to attend extra lectures daily that starts from 9.30-11.00. Don't forget the fact that you are living in a hostel, thus your laundry has to become a daily priority. Thats basically my daily life for about 2 weeks. Well, all i can say that for the past 2 weeks at Kmph i has been like hell busy

PSPM(final exam for this sem) is coming like really soon and i have to like study real hard for it..its like a MUST score exam. People there just expect "us" to excel. Sometimes can't we just be viewed at the same level? its like not every Chinese is amazing in Maths...come on...i still remember Pn Shariza(maths tutorial) once said " This is the first time a Chinese ask me this type of quetion"...i was like..ok...just for your information, i don't really like Maths and ...i don't usually score for Maths...so..take notice, ok??

nevertherless, Pn Shariza taught me alot about life. Well, she has these 'golden phrases' which are kinda amusing and true at the same time:

1. To do Maths, you have to hav 3 criteria. no.1, you need to have a brain. 'you have brains right?" no.2 , you need to have the knowledge, the skill. no.3, you need to have the speed, " To gain the speed, you need alot of practice."

2. If you don't study now i can assure you that you are gonna MAMPUS (suffer)!!MAMPUS!!(she says this in a scary tone)

3. I tell you, if you can't even do this, you tak layak masuk U!!!! Kamu tak LAYAK!!!!!(huh...???)

4. I never trust counsellors!!!! NEVER!!!! if you want counselling , ask it from your parents!!! NEVER trust those counsellors!!!!

5. Bukan saya tak mau ajar kamu, but if i teach you everything and show you all the steps, you are not thinking!!!! SAYA YANG jadi PANDAI, bukan kamu...saya yang kekal pandai..kamu kekal tak sama...use your brain and think , try solving it..!!!!

6. YOU are not thinking!!!! you cannot depend on me!!! saya tak mau pelajar macam itu.!!!! think!!!!

7. Don't keep complaining!! do something about it!!! kalau kata lecturer tak baik, itu NASIB lar,, NASIB...

Thats typical Pn Shariza whom i deeply respect. She may be harsh but what she says its like super true. Despite my dislike for Maths, i will have to prove her wrong....NO pain, no gain, i can no longer wish for my fairy god mother to sprinkle magic dust on me nor i can no longer ask for my Genie in the bottle to grant every wish....i gotta work hard!!!! for maths..hehe

During this brief and short holidays, i have to work very hard on my studies, its my only option to score 4 flat. Its everything for me. Despite all the stress and fuly-pack timetable, Thank the Lord that i have Gossip Girls to accompany my hollidays...haha


GOSSIP GIRLS IS AMAZING!!!! love it SUPER..haha...BLAir...serena..chuck..nate,...dan..small J..haha...

XOXO i know you love me