today's driving lesson went so well at first. No 'sei fohs'. Everything went well as planned for the first time! and then, it was time for my pre-test.
I dun really understand why they gave me a different car to drive. It was newer car and the engine was much stronger. It was something that i did not expect and did not know if i could control. After a few tries i kinda managed to calm down my nerves and got on track. However, things did not seem to end well when i had to park my car.
It was like i was kinda brainwashed but thanks to all the people at the driving institute including all the other instructors(about 2 of them like gave me tips and motivated me somehow...thankS!!! for now), i managed to finally do the parking right in the end. It was only after a few attempts till i managed to do that. i did not understand why...i never hit a pole ever before until today during my pre-test!!!! was it the nerves? was it the different car i was using? maybe that contributed to my downfall. Everything just didn't didn't went well as i hoped it would. Never mind, i stil managed to pass my pre-test in the end!!!(the examiner passed me in the end)
Just when i thought that everything was ok, HE appeared!!! Everyone(_and i do mean really everyone there!!!_) was there to help me except from HIM. HE did not know anything about my driving skills and there he was to FAIL me and put me on for more lessons. At that moment, i almost felt hatred was overtaking me! i could not believe it! Who was he to give me extra lessons when he did not know anything that happened while i was driving!
I was angry(first time in a very very long time...)...despised by what he HE had done to me. I felt like it was he made me a fool out of myself. i felt BETRAYED!....thinking again...why waste my energy on somebody like that...thats pointless...i just felt torn apart!...speechless.
i knew i was not like very very ready at that moment and i should not put the blame on the new car or my nerves.....maybe i just need to calm myself or take an extra lesson..but for HIM to add 3 extra lessons for me...HE HAS NO RIGHT IN THE WORLD TO DO SO! i told him berfore that if i was not confident, i would tell him personally and add extra lessons by myself and so, for HIM to do something without even consulting my opinion...it was just wicked bad!....
i still feel torn apart because everyone wanted to help me except HIM...call em childish or silly ..whatever....really tak ada eyes to lihat HIM at this moment.i feel defeated! Well, thanks to HIM because i no longer have the will to drive!
PISSED OFF!!!
2 comments:
aiks!calm down...and smile =)must be too nervous that day...no worries..i'm sure u'll do fine in the actual test..cheer up,kay?^^ *think of gummi bears..it may help to cool u down*
i dunno..i dun even feel like driving now..there were so many people there..the examiner passed me at first!!!! just because of HIM, i had to add classes!!!!...mesti belajar lepaskan geram....Thanks anyway...
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