the last chapter

its been a long time and it seems its gonna be the end of the road. Somehow, i feel relieved that its all gonna come to an end. This odyssey as i call it has broken and mended me at the same time, moulding me into a person i vision myself of.

Things have been different-the way i act, they way i speak to others, my perception to others. Somehow, i still feel the naive child in me has not left but has only been exposed more to the outside world. There are many times that i felt like giving up, breaking down, letting destiny go by its way, but somehow, i mustered enough courage to go through it all. Bonds have been made, some strengthened, some lost its sparkle. Yet, i feel so grateful for all that God has made me go through.

i wonder what would happen if the circle of exotic of friends remained the same as i could clearly remember. Things may have gone to a different direction as i wished it would, but i still cherish the moments i went through with you all.

to a friend of mine:
There is something i wanted to tell you all along but i just don't know how to open up to you. I just wished that you were the down to earth friend whom i knew. i really wished so.

yet, there has been light and rejoice as my friendship with others blossomed. they have been a breath of fresh air for me, and i thank them very much for all the joy they brought to my life.

Who knew an exhibition could somehow relight the fire inside me to express myself creativity. creatively. It was my fuel that kept me inspired and gave me a vision. Viewing those photo albums, gave me some sort of accomplishment that we together had managed to go through all obstacles and visualized our dream. It was a success i do agree-something that is hard to hear from my mouth.

now its the final struggle , all i have to do is to have more faith and i will be able to make it through. I have to convince myself to believe in myself. i have to. will succeed. i know i will. What lies ahead my future is still an unknown . yet, i have to renew my doubt with hope and faith. I can ...

thanks Pn Shariza for giving me a word of encouragement the other day, what you said, really meant mountains to me, and for those who broke me down unintentionally, its alright, you won;t be able to knock me down.

knock you down

Gonna keep my heads up high, gonna be strong, gonna prepare myself as tougher roads await me. This is a chance for me to prove to myself that i am able to overcome myself, the barriers, the shells confining me. Though knocked down, i am gonna fight back with full throttle, giving my very best. this is not gonna stop me from reaching my dreams.

I am gonna knockMUET down...!

a metamorphing journey.

times has changed, methamorphosis is taking place. without prior notice, much have passed, loads have cherished, many lessons were learnt, many changes has taken place. From the beginning, there was i, a tuition teacher, then a scholarship wannabe. appleboy to finally reverting back to my old self-the true me.

Recalling this year, time really flew. recalling the good and bad made me realised how far i have travelled. life is after all a journey, one that have ups and downs, just like a ferris wheel ride. At times, i wish i could reach the peak, the highest point, but when i reached that pivotal point, i realise that i have to start the journey all over again. Just like a ferris wheel ride, the wheel rotates , from the lowest point to the highest point and this process continues until the time your ride is finished-the time you leave the ride to embark a new journey.

Life at Kmph is a learning process, a journey, an odyssey, a flight that really strenghtens me and morphes me to learn more about myself and creating myself. Quoted from a dear friend of mine, "Life is not about finding yourself, but its a process of creating yourself." through these 7 months so far, much have veen learnt and experienced visually, emotionally, physicaaly and spiritually. i see growth, metamorphosis, radical changes. I think i now know the person i want to be, the somebody i can picture myself to be.

At Kmph, i learnt to 'make things work'. complaining is a form of releasing dissatisfaction and stress but continuous of complaints is a sign of weakness, an irritation to ones ears. I have complained much, from my dissatisfaction to my maths teaches to the 'lack of interest or senstivity' to maths which ultimately leads to the lacklustre performace of mine in maths. Yet, it was a fellow Ipoh based teacher-pn Shariza who slapped me on my face and made me realized that giving excuses and complaining is just an excuse of being a spoiled brat and laziness, All i have to do is to make it WORK!!!!

There was a so called Appleboy mania at kmph where i was labelled as this apple eating boy at lecture guy. that was a period of fun, joy, of excitement. Those were some of my golden days where i felt i received illumination, enlightment, blessing. I felt like a phoenix reborn from ashes. i was new in a new environment, totally fresh in an exotic place, ready to explore all boudaries, every corner, ready to create a new me, met new people, ready to embark a journey, That was a point in life where i was filled with confidence where my jar of confidence is sligtly over-filled resulting in a change of persona within me, which i slightly noticed. I was starting to change to something that i would not like, unnoticed, unintentionally. I was turning Ugly. Yet, at the right point, i reverted, God's blessings made me change. Here i am now.

Blessed. Blessed to meet these new friends whom accepted me, whom i accept and care for. i respect them for their individuality and qualities which i learnt a lot from. And then was when i quetioned Him for sending them away , one by one from me. Yet, i received new blessings , new friendships were created, existed bonds were strengthed.

i met great roommates, good friends, future leaders, yet, at this point, i feel people around me have been changing, in a manner that makes me realise and rethink who they really are, their true colors. At some times, what i see is not what i like. It is an eyesore, yet i still care deeply and sincrely for them. i am confused by the persona i am facing. Do people change? or does it take time before one reveals his true colors. As far as i am concerned, these changes can be seen as thorns to others. Yet, this is a time i stay firm with my integrity, my principles. all i want and have to do now is to save me from myself. these thoughts can and must no longer change or effect me emotionally. i need to stay strong. true friends do not tolerate,they accept.

As various memories refreshes through my mind, i feel more grown up. but i know i have much more to learn, much more to explore and see. I like being myself-crazy, a lunatic, an ambassador, talkative, always smilling. i realise i talk as a person, a true human-vulnerable and all bariers broken down., and i like it.

this year, i feel even more connected to my family that i have ever felt in a long time. I thank you, Lord. for a blessed year.


UPS is next year, 3days ahead, and next year , 2010, a better, blessed year is 20 minutes ahead, awaiting for me as i embark on a different flight. As a passenger, now , i await my destionation. Time is not the main factor, it is the journey and the destination that truly matters.

Speed clubbing or poo poo tree??

this hols was truly a roller coaster ride for me. went out a couple of times with my friends and also an eye opener Penang trip.even learnt taichi and visited Little india!!!For the Penang trip, there was Fann, Yennee, Yash, Young , MIn Huey and me..and it was unexpectedly fun! Though i did not eat much as i would like to, i had a great deal of fun with these guys.

I went skating(QUeensbay) for the first time, speed clubbing and posing with the 'poo poo tree'...that was really crazy..haha..

CLubbing is something people usually ever in a million years associate it with me. Well, to tell you the truth, i never believed that i would ever go into a club! But OMG..i did it!!! well, to give more detailed info, this club is at Auto city, Butterworth and its called ' Dream'!! there were these staircases up to this high profile club. I was nervous, afraid, yet i had to hide all my fears and wear a mask of calmness. This was a time to experience a life i never though i would even come close to.

We hesitated before going in. we were unsure. well at least i was a 'virgin' in this case. We did not even know if we needed to pay to enter...but as i went in. i felt like transformed into another planet. It was like totally different. It was dark and the deco was inspired by modern meets ancient China . I heard loud music, there was a band . There were lounges, ppl were hanging out. and to my surprise, i saw a middle aged lady wearing skimpy outfits dancing to the beat of the music like theres no tomorrow and i had only one word in my mind- Gross.

i felt uneasy , uncomfortable and i looked at Yashini. And from those big wide opened eyes of hers, i knew we were on the same page. We hadenough of this 'experience' this clubbing life. We were like raising out voices (the music was too loud) " i don't really like this place!!! " "Lets leave" and in a couple of seconds, we left the so called "dream-land"

well, this is what me and Yashini calls 'speed clubbing' ..we experienced it visually at least...and maybe its just not my cup of tea!!! i rather pose with the 'poo poo tree' (see my Facebook photos-crazy i tell you)!!!! that was more fun and at least in my comfort zone!!! haha..

thanks yash, fann, min huey, Queen K and Young, really enjoyed this trip...learnt more about my friends and this lesson will never end!

Concrete jungle awaits me!

MUETS just over...and i am glad..well i have no idea how i scored but i had fun with my group..like we interacted...we helped each other..it was PURE discussion...eye contact was there...GREAT

i was candidate C and we had to discuss on how food manufacturers could increase the sales of locally food. My point was through promoting our food overseas.(via campaigns, Internet, food fair, ambassadors...)

haha..thanks 4 d wishes...thanks ZEE!!! ELIN!!!! and also Pn Norsiah, Miss Cheong for the wonderful tips...

unfortunately Candidate A kinda broke down ...she was too nervous..we all tried to help her but i hope that i wasn't misintepreted as overdominating bythe examiner..oh well...

byebye Sem 1..coz i am leaving the JUNGLE 2day!!!! heading to another jungle only that its made of concrete(KL)..haha...

Jungle meltdown

exam was officially over yesterday and since i have my speaking test on 21 Oct(7.30 am) i have to camp in the jungle(thats what Yash calls KMPh ...the jungle).

These exam period could be said as a turning point of my life-it made me stronger, tougher, more mature. Its very well said that it takes a total emotional breakdown to see the beauty in someone and i totally experienced it. Breaking down was something i never thought i could ever experience in a Giga-zillion years...but...who knew that a few sums could lead to a basket full of 'won tons'. I felt vulnerable, open to attack, i felt i had nobody i could trust , i wanted to talk to sumbody. It was 3 am in the morning-but i had my family standing by me.

Now, i feel great, its like a baggage, a burden, an evil spell being cast out off me. Believing in yourself makes you strong, knowing others believe in you makes you feel secure, beautiful, safe. Now, i take life as a journey that i can learn and enjoy at the same time-enriching myself.

My personal message to Maths & Chem & Physics:

I may not personally like the 3 of you but YO!!!! i am stronger and i can overcome you guys...so bring it on...coz i m gonna fight back in full throttle. Chem, i am gonna be like a buffer solution, add strong acid, add super strong base, I am gona remain the same! Maths, you can differentiate or intergrate as much as possible but yo....i'm gonna persevere as you cant change my perseverance. Yo Physics,..i love you ...so let it be conservation of angular momentum or isothermal, i am gonna overcome it all...as i have to believe..haha..

yo,,4 PSPM, i did my all..like i gave all i could and no matter what the end point(point where indicator changes color) its OK...haha...Nasib le!!!

gonna go to Kl on the 21st and reunite with my parents...
anyway, Happy Birthday to the empress!!! (Yen nee) and thanks Fan and Young for yesterday.

Ohya!!!!!! b4 signing off..Speaking test tomorrow...calm down,, speak slowly, intelligently, wisely and confidently and speak with your eyes !!!! haha....

Don't complain...itu NASIB!!!

its been a very long time like ages since i last blogged. Part of the reason is that i was like as busy as hell and partially because of the sloth inside me kinda took over. Well, all i must say is that life at KMPh was super-hell crazy. Like what i told Young, i have to find equilibrium-hectic studies+ crazy timetable, PRD responsibilities, Biro Pameran for CNY thingy, and my entertainment.

Lets talk about studies, imagine yourself attending classes daily from 8-around 5...and thats not all, you have to attend extra lectures daily that starts from 9.30-11.00. Don't forget the fact that you are living in a hostel, thus your laundry has to become a daily priority. Thats basically my daily life for about 2 weeks. Well, all i can say that for the past 2 weeks at Kmph i has been like hell busy

PSPM(final exam for this sem) is coming like really soon and i have to like study real hard for it..its like a MUST score exam. People there just expect "us" to excel. Sometimes can't we just be viewed at the same level? its like not every Chinese is amazing in Maths...come on...i still remember Pn Shariza(maths tutorial) once said " This is the first time a Chinese ask me this type of quetion"...i was like..ok...just for your information, i don't really like Maths and ...i don't usually score for Maths...so..take notice, ok??

nevertherless, Pn Shariza taught me alot about life. Well, she has these 'golden phrases' which are kinda amusing and true at the same time:

1. To do Maths, you have to hav 3 criteria. no.1, you need to have a brain. 'you have brains right?" no.2 , you need to have the knowledge, the skill. no.3, you need to have the speed, " To gain the speed, you need alot of practice."

2. If you don't study now i can assure you that you are gonna MAMPUS (suffer)!!MAMPUS!!(she says this in a scary tone)

3. I tell you, if you can't even do this, you tak layak masuk U!!!! Kamu tak LAYAK!!!!!(huh...???)

4. I never trust counsellors!!!! NEVER!!!! if you want counselling , ask it from your parents!!! NEVER trust those counsellors!!!!

5. Bukan saya tak mau ajar kamu, but if i teach you everything and show you all the steps, you are not thinking!!!! SAYA YANG jadi PANDAI, bukan kamu...saya yang kekal pandai..kamu kekal tak sama...use your brain and think , try solving it..!!!!

6. YOU are not thinking!!!! you cannot depend on me!!! saya tak mau pelajar macam itu.!!!! think!!!!

7. Don't keep complaining!! do something about it!!! kalau kata lecturer tak baik, itu NASIB lar,, NASIB...

Thats typical Pn Shariza whom i deeply respect. She may be harsh but what she says its like super true. Despite my dislike for Maths, i will have to prove her wrong....NO pain, no gain, i can no longer wish for my fairy god mother to sprinkle magic dust on me nor i can no longer ask for my Genie in the bottle to grant every wish....i gotta work hard!!!! for maths..hehe

During this brief and short holidays, i have to work very hard on my studies, its my only option to score 4 flat. Its everything for me. Despite all the stress and fuly-pack timetable, Thank the Lord that i have Gossip Girls to accompany my hollidays...haha


GOSSIP GIRLS IS AMAZING!!!! love it SUPER..haha...BLAir...serena..chuck..nate,...dan..small J..haha...

XOXO i know you love me

i thank those who were there for me. May those cloudy days pass by as a new day approaches. May i find that happiness and joy that once filled my soul. I have to persevere, thats what i can do. Things do happen for a reason as for that, i will stay strong as this is a world of the survival of teh fittest.

h1n1 strikes!

KMPh quarantined for 1 week!!!!..before this i thought i wanted a longer holiday, well it seems that tinkerbell must had sprinkled some pixie dust or maybe i made my wish as a meteor rain passed by...my prayers were answered somehow-an extra week of holidays.yo!!! Som, what how did i spend these holidays??

hmmm...really did nothing much aside from slacking and slothing around.studied a little...and a movie every day, so far, i have re-watched 3 Harry Potter movies and completed one of the X-men trilogy. Watched alot of TV also..somehow, i know that not before long, i have to click myself into study mode again and i bet my timetable will be flooded!well...enjoy life first lar..

i still rember last Sat at around 12.00 while i was watching One Million Star and i received a call from Young about KMPh being quarantined. Did not believe it at first . Suddenly, my phone was flooded with messages like"Kmph quarantined , kena H1N1, balik pada 9-Ogos"...wow...and i kept ringing my fellow college mates...kept receiving SMS...really kinda crazy la..

"Pn Sharaizah, KMPh kena quarantined 1 minggu kah?? H1n1??"
"ya, kah? cikgu tak tau ar."
"yalar..menakutkan lar...ada banyak kawan call lar..cikgu tak tau kah?"
"cikgu call office lar..nanti beritahu Foong.."


later..


"Cikgu, benarlah..sidah disahkan memang quarantined la!!!!"
"yalar...saya pun baru tahu..haha"
"cikgu kesian lar..1 minggu lar..macam itu,,saya dah sedia banyak maths nak tanya cikgu lar..sudah bersiap sedia ...after they cut our holidays or give extra class..kesian la.."
"kesian..hahaha...tak apa lar..hahaha...(she kept lauging)"

oh well...i guess i'm going back the next SUnday instead. Well, btw, this is my beauty maths project..thanks to May, i kinda got the idea of stealing ideas from Monopoly and convert it into a maths board game! well i may not be creative..but this is call innovative right?

this game is kinda not that complicated..kinda like if you landed on the yellow, pink and red papers, u have to answer simple maths quetions..(wanna play??)


i also got news that my art piece i sent to CHina for a competition has won a prize..(thats inner news)..haha...dunno la..fingers crossed.

ps: Jin: u har...bahagia jor pun tak tau kongsikan..syabas
KMM: Good luck oh!!! add oil
fellow KMPhians-gonna see you guys soon...
Sk&BJ: Happy belated bday !!!yo!!!

Nak cari apple?

UPS this week.

English-loved the feeling of writing again.
Chemistry-did fairly ok!
Maths-Careless like Crazy!
Physics-i felt the best!

i remember Bing jian telling me that my fate is still the same like f5- i have no 'jodoh' with Maths...and i am starting to believe it. Its not that the Maths Quetions were like tough..but its because of my carelessness that led me to make a fatal mistake. and because of that, its kinda frustrating! After realizing those fatal mistakes, i stormed to the cubicle...to like consult my Maths tutorial teacher and what happened was...

" Foong cari apple kah?"

Yar...mr K saw me and that was what i first heard. That kinda cheered me..haha..i'm apple boy...then i kinda like consulted him and he managed to like " Tak apa..foong...kalau cikgu itu baik hati , dia tutup satu mata sahaja"(what if they that teacher open 2 eyes?? then sure die lor)
but he kinda helped me to lik release my stress.

Here, i gotta thank Pn Noraida (physics tutorial teacher) who have been helping me alot. I love the way she teaches...the way she wants us to understand physics concepts instead of memorizing the solutionsand this is what se told me.

" foong, dari awal-awal lagi, saya sudah perhatikan bahawa anda memang careless lar."
" cikgu, saya memang careless lar..dan saya tahu saya tak clever"
"tidak lar...kau juga bijak tapi careless sahaja."

THOSE WERE conforting WORDS! Thanks!( i hoped my Physics UPS was more than enough to make her proud!)



btw people here are crazy competitive..all aiming to get full marks its like...huh???...just do your best lar..and somehow their competitveness is kinda bothering+affecting me..oh well going backto Ipoh this Sat..

No Jodoh with carcom

i din get it. Though i managed to get into top 4 for Public speaking CARCOM..i lost to fellow Ipoh gal Shobana for a spot to compete in CARCOM. If only they chose 2 speakers like previous years, i would be chosen...but...i am very happy for Shoba!!! and i hope she makes KMPh proud...i know she will..she is the calm and collected girl after all.


God is always fair and has His plan.


Instead of getting CARCOM. i gt PRD(pembimbing rakan dinamik)!!! and i am vice president for PRD!!!..haha...i hope via PRD i can learn more and help others at the same time. its after all much better to give than to receive!...

Being a PRD can be tough lar...i get teased....if i say something not PRD..Shoba will be like " Seriously, Foong, what you just said is not PRD at all"...haiz.,...but its trains me to be a better person! so i gotta think and speak with wisdom. btw: Maggie, Mei Xuan, yashini, May are among the lucky ones who got PRD



english speaking test was amazing..though i was dissapointed for not getting CARCOM..after my speaking test, Miss Zarina told us..after so many groups..this is the only group that is good!!!! YAY!!!..thanks miss Z!! she made my day so special!!

loads of work this week and UPS coming soon...and i did not do 2 well in Quiz and test ...even my Maths teacher is saying..U MeManG CARELESS LA!.gotta work harder ...that means i have to sacrifice Transformers!!! haiz..oh well...

oh ya..going back to Ipoh next week for Prize giving ceremony. and i have Fiziks day 2moro and fiziks exhibition next sat!!!..OMG right?



(p.s.: hope Jin enjoys tropical M'sia, Carmen gets teacher course, KMM and ST ppl have fun......and KMph ROCKS at all time)

u changed your mind??

i find myself talking too much in Kmph..being here is like breaking out of the shell that use to be keeping me fron expressing me from who i truly am. here i get to be crazy...unlike in ST where being crazy is a 'sin'..haha

Known as the apple boy, i am full of joy and i tell others " you know what,I am crazy!"

At Kmph i seem to be talking with maximum velocity! haha...




Two nights ago, MX told me that she is leaving to Aimst because she cannot get to Hayat and she wants to being a doctor. thus, even getting 4 flat in Matrix may not guarantee you to a spot in doctor. we were in the library at that time..and we chatted for like an hour..

and after that, she is still confused or whether to leave or to stay...

honestly, i thought that this girl will leave(its just a hunch or wild guess) even yan ling agreed!..

two days later, she told me "you know what..because what u said, i changed my mind and I am staying!!!"..OMG..really shocked..and some people are asking me"what did you tell her..??""what made her change her mind?"...guys, i was also shocked by her decision but i respect her 100% for thinking carefully of her next step.

i remember telling her "to succeed in life, we have to take risks..maybe this is a risk you should take". This could be a gamble for her and i wish the best for her. know i realise how much impact just a few words can make to 1's life. So i better be careful with my words.

i really did not expect to convince her to stay at KMPh..she seemed that she wants to leave. Even yanling and her friends were kinda shocked!..




maybe i am a good counsellor??..haha...anyway PRD results are gonna be out next week....fingers crossed!..

(Ravi, Vincent, Trophy,Pokok Christams,REn, P2, P3.. Yang, Shorbana, Roseline, yanLing, Yannie, Jason is making my life at KMPH so interesting!!!!!)






deepest condolences to Leow and his family.May God bless you and your family.
Calvin, i hope you recover from your measles.

Robot ..humaniz-ing

Let me intro you guys to Ying Ying...a former tutorial classmate of mine. for your info, she received the JPA offer(U.K-dentistry). I have known her for about 1 month now and she's leaving.

We actually had a small farewell for her. This is a true Taiping gal and i use to tease her being too robotic by calling her "ROBOt"(sounds mean right?) ...but this girl has truly changed alot since i met her..shes being so much more human ...i mean expression wise at least she shows her laughter....i will actually miss her..

last night when i was resting at the field....i kinda felt lonely as Ying used to jog around the track like every day!!!(she is an athlete!)...i still remember after the farwell we had, i listened to this song " First Love" by Utada Hikaru and that song nearly brought me to tears..haha..i will miss you gal...she will always be a friend of mine. and she promised to take me around Taiping to makan+play if we came down.

"you know what , when you tried to appeal to get Hayat, i actualy prayed that you won't get it , hoping you stay in Fiziks with us"

"jahat lar u"

"yala..i was kinda glad u did not get Hayat and stayed in Fz..."

"haiz..."

"and i did not expect you to get JPA ..coz alot of the bright students did not get it after apealing. so when you got JPA..i was like OMG..well....you are leaving after all"

i knew that i was selfish for hoping that she would not change class to Hayat..but you see, God has a plan. and he has HIS way of doing things.

all the best in MARA Banting...Ying Ying, sincerly, i wish you the best...seriously...and you are 100%human.

leaving

Alot people leaving KMPh..either get JPA pr canot tukar HAyat and have to remain in Fiziks. So sad lar...even i dun really know them but them have grown to be a part of KMPh....KMPh will be less vibrant, colorful without you guys....really miss you all but all the best to SInYi and Kanchana..haiz....

KMPh will always welcome you back. i am really gonne miss you all...haha...I do hope the Ipoh gang will not shrink any more...haiz..

The Apple

"today i am teaching about inequalities, quadratic eauations..new chapter"
"crunch"
...
"whats your name?"(pointing at me)
"foong"
" you wanna eat or learn?"
"learn"(i wanted to say both)
"den simpan lar "


quickly, i kept my apple out from sight. OMG...i was like so malu in class..oh well...i dun really care. Actually, dun think i am that berani lar...its just because i was sick ...sakit kerongkong like mad...no more water coz the water machine was like rosak.....my throat was so dry and i was just rushing from 1 class to another...and all i had w as an apple to quench my thirst....furthermore,some girls eat apple in class also tak apa...

this is the story of "the apple"..btw..i still love eating apples.

Anyway, being ketua tutor for my fiziks tutorial..i hav to help like organize a dance performance where this dance is counted into our Dinamika Kemahiran(living science) marks. hmmm....not being an avid dancer, i have to like figure out what works and what does not work. I have to just like MAke a ZERo to a hero...i plan to like organize my class to dance the kuda kepang..??? tarian cina?? and maybe an umbrella dance...haha..RIHANNA!!!!


btw: leow phoned that day and i am so happy to hear about the N.N.O....but u guys please kurangkan drama...KMPH is fun...hope the dance goes on well, hope i get PRD and Carcom 4 public speaking..


alll d best!!!!

Lin dan again...

From yesterday till today , there was a total of like 2 groups of people approached me and called me"Lin Dan"..haiz...i look like Lin Dan meh...first was the Roti Canai guy..now my peers..whats next lar??..haiz....Lin Dan..i look nothing like him..maybe we share the same kening but...we are so different lar.."You mirip Lin Dan...comel"...hai

you guys remain speechless right???

z...OMG..haha..

going back to Ipoh 2moro at 9.a.m. i guess its gonna be another long journey..but i need to keep reminding myself to start studying hard. After today's chat with Kolej Matrikulasi Melaka(KMM) friends, i discovered that KMPh is like way better(in my opinion).haha..no offence...its like i feel like i actually enjoy matrix life better, meeting new people...learning new things daily. KMPh seems to offer better facilities..haha..

beautiful flower at Block C

my tutorial( i love that place..like studying in a forest)

flower itu cantik kan>>

my room..isn't it neat?? my KMM friends say beter den KMM rooms wor..hehe












this is actually a card for our facilitators(abang tea, joo, jia jia, andrew, vincent, william)..it is like messages from all the non muslim students...it took me and some friends almost 3 hours to do it...+ we were interupted by a fire drill..hah..




















( result)













(presenting the card)

this card may not cost RM 1 million but its full of sincerity..hope you faci's appreciate it.

KMM people finally timbul !!!!

wow..it seems KMM people not living under the rock..haha..got timbul pula..

Met some new friends daily...i feel being the ketua tutor memang burden lar..(kidding) unlike shao kang, i have to keep collect money and go to cubicle to pay the lecturers..so far like i said..my fav lesson is English where i am more known as Big bang..haha..

er...i wonder how mnay people going back this week wor..i mean from Matrix to Ipoh..hmm...duno lar..but i am so far having like a great time here...the library got open at night lar...but 25th only mula...

yesterday my friends told me that Public speaking NOT included in CARCOM ...i was like so sad ..bt....i phoned Miss Zarina and the auditions next week lar...haha..though i haven't get selected..but i see this opportunity as a chance of redeeming myself from my previous almost fatal mistake..haha..

Hope i get it lar...

KMM guys: u guys joining CARCOM??? anyone else selected as Ketua?? wat COCO u guys joined??? i wan PRD!!!!!!...haha..

btw in lab..i watchin ANTM..finale..haha

SYOK SENDIRI!!!!

yo!!! coming back this Fri ....will reach Ipoh at around 12.00+ (at night) and will be going back to KMPh at...Sun(9.00 a.m.)..hha..gonna leave my friends here at KMPh...bt i just feel so excited to go back 2 Ipoh..dad bought some delicious beef balls...hmm..what to eat..i feel like eating Nga CHoi Gai..even the Kmph guys keep call me to pack some food for the,..they even plan to camp at my house..reali sweat lor..

the ticket is not cheap but..oh well..around RM 80+ for through and fro. I am gonna be able to wacth AI!!!! yeppe....haha...

met alot of new friends daily...alot Ipoh friends also...KmPh has been an amazing blessing to me..i wonder how KMM is...hmm..Melaka..should be fun..right???...

btw..this week our topic of discussion has all been about our ..'droppings'...gt what color, shape , solubility....hahaha....very funny lar...even gt girls talk abt tat too..haha...tak segan right?

went cycling yesterday ...boy!!!! it was fun..when i cycle lar..gt 3 Malay girls keep laughing at me..really speechless liao...

so IPOH watch out for me!!!!..need to take alot STPM books back with me to KMPh...need 2 start revising jor...anyway...wish me luck for my audition 2moro for CARCOM (public speaking)...

HEY>>KMM guys...how are you guys>?> when come back>>>??? ...hows life??? f6 ppl keep undating me with stuff..u KMM guys like udang di bawah batu...haha...
btw: KKC...Adrian hope u guys get 2nd intake 4 matrix..coz KMPh..is SS...SYOK SENDIRI!!!!..haha..

ei,...dun malas BLOG ar..!!!!

New strength

May 8th:
3.00 p.m.
Everyone waiting anxiously for the JPA results(including me). It postponed to 5 pm.

5.00 p.m.
Tried to get into esila JPA but failed.

6.00 p.m.
Tried again...but still failed getting into esila JPA.

6.20p.m.
took a rest and took Waggie for a walk.

6.50 p.m.
Went to fetch Shao Kang to MP.

7.30p.m.
Digging in at MP

11.15 p.m.
Results of JPA out...everyone had butterflies in their tummies. There were 3 lucky ones.(leow, kah wai, Yik Hoe)

11.40 p.m.
I checked esila JPA.(before that Pn chaw sms-ed me, thanks)




































_i did not get the scholarship_






May 9th(my sister's bday)
4.30 a.m.
I broke down suddenly during sleep. Cried . Tears just ran down my cheeks. I felt terrible, miserable.




I feel terrible now. I feel like a bundle of emotions trying to drown me down. It seems that i am no longer able to control myself. I feel like a lunatic. I feel like being beaten down. I am not strong enough. I can no longer hold the tears. I just feel weak. I don't wanna lose these all. I can't bear to miss this!!!









I feel so weak and vulnerable now. Tears are still flooding my eyes. I already feel homesick without even leaving the footsteps of my house. I will miss everything: bathing my dog, having dinner with my family, sending soup to my grandparents, calling my friends. I feel like i am about to leave my family.I miss my bed, Ipoh. I cannot believe it, this may be the very last nights that i am going to sleep in my bed in Ipoh. I suddenly feel the urge to stay. i tend to appreciate every single moment. I just could not tend to leave my family and friends as i love them and care for them so deeply that i am not capable of losing them. I cannot bear with the thoughts of leaving with my family.

This is the first time i am leaving my family for such a long period of time and without noticing it, i actually miss them more than i know. These tears keep streaming down my cheeks.


i feel weak. Am i not as strong as i thought?



Guys and gals:
Yes , JPA would give me the chance of a life time to study abroad but it seems that i have already acepted God's decision no matter whether i get to study overseas anot. I was not nervous when the results were announced. My heartbeat did not even pace up.( i have no regrets of my interview)

Maybe i did not want this as much as i seem i wanted it. Maybe i just did not really care for JPA, maybe i have prepared myself 100% that i would be heading off to Pahang, but i have to say that the thoughts of leaving Ipoh is just killing me.

There is none like my family and friends. Thank you Lord for your mighty love.
They are my tower of love, my pillar of strength, my essence of joy.


Nothing compares to the love i have for my family and friends.





It seems ironic that i would even shed a tear for something like leaving my family and friends. But it just came naturally. Never i have thought of imagining myself in this awkward position.





So...GOOD Luck to you all!!!! I will cherish the last day i am in Ipoh!!! Wait for my calls and smses!!!





visit me in Gambang!! as this is going to be a new chapter in my life!!!! i wanna invite you guys into the pages of my life. You guys are like ink in a diary: irreplaceable.