Inspired and inspire

I can manage to survive and i do hope i can fight till the very end. Now, it seems that my future is uncertain. Its kinda like the sky is in shades of grey and the sight of a mere glimpse of a ray of light seems blocked by the opaque clouds. My future is like holding sand using my fists. I just can't seem to grasp hold over it.

Now it seems that i have only 1 road left-form 6( a path that i had always rejected). haiz...but it just seems that i have to accept fate as it is. So, Bio stream or Fz stream. Architecture is kinda more related to FZ but i seem to have more confidence in taking up BIO. Studying in F6 means i have to face Maths and its gonna be a tough time for me. I feel that i will get tonnes of headaches. And on the top, i have to balance my studies with my co-curricular activities. Can't i just relax and catch a breath for a minute longer? but if i have to study BIO means i have to 'cut' a rat. haiz...i HATE rats.

I feel studying Biology won't break my chances of being an architect. Maybe i can be an architect inspired bt life, eg: the sperm cell, the heart, vessels, exoskeletons, hydrostatic skeleton?. and i could make a fortune because of my unique inspirations..haha. I guess i wil start taking tuition for both BIO and FZ and find which interests me more. I can't afford to take both . Not that ambitious.

i was accepted to Ktar studying architecture but i think i will pass as it seems that the course is still new there. I am just afraid that it may not be recognized. Furthermore, a friend whom i though will be with me if i study in Ktar has changed his mind. Oh well, life goes on.

Architecture: the balance of science and arts. Its so easy to say that but it seems so hard to find the right path to study. the only one word that is making my education harder than ever is -CASH. if only i had the cash.haiz...oh well, i just have to Fight for my passion.

GOD, i just want to stop studying about Maths, or anything not related. I just want to start designing buildings, making leaps and bounds in the world of architecture! i want to be inspired and inspire others! GOSH....i pray i get the JPA scholarship but i know chances are slim, so i'm not really expecting much.

After all, there's nothing wrong to dream.